NECESSARY LOSSES

When we think of loss, we think of the loss through death of people we love. But loss is a far more encompassing theme in life. For we loss not only through death, but also by leaving and being left, by changing and letting go, and moving on. And our losses include not only our separations and departures from those we love, but our conscious and unconscious losses of romantic dreams, impossible expectations, illusions of freedom and power, illusions of safety - and the loss of our younger self, the self that thought it always be unwrinkled and invulnerable and immortal.

Losses we confront by inescapable fact...

*that our mother is going to leave us and we will leave her.

*our mother's love can never be ours alone.

*what hurts us cannot always be kissed and made better.

*we are essentially out here on our own.

*we will always have to accept - in other people and ourselves - the mingling of love with hate, of the good with the bad.

Throughout our life we grew by giving up. We give up some of our deepest attachments to others. We give up certain cherished parts of ourselves.

(Judith Viorst)